05/27/2014
Ok I'm a little late on posting about my 6 month follow up appointment with my surgeon from Friday. Well it started off great! I got my usual nurse who is a sweetheart and she couldn't believe the weight loss. She was telling me about another girl that works in the office that had it around the same time as I did and only lost 10 POUNDS!!!! I'm sorry but that's devastating! The nurse was saying how this girl eats Wendy's and steak, things of that nature. I can't even tell you the last time I had fast food, and I'm afraid to eat steak because ground beef doesn't agree with me. Its harder for your stomach to digest. I was completely horrified, why would you put your body through all that and not keep up your end of the bargain?
With any kind of bariatric surgery, these things are just tools whether its the gastric sleeve, lapband, or gastric bypass. You have to completely change your lifestyle. Its extremely daunting at first but with the help you have from your surgeon it makes it a lot easier. My surgeon's office gave me a whole set of guidelines to follow for up to 8 weeks following surgery. I was still a little nervous post-op about what to eat so he gave me a script to go back to the nutritionist I had seen before surgery if I wanted to.
I can't even explain how it felt to have my surgeon walk right passed the room I was sitting in waiting for him because he didn't recognize me at first. He couldn't believe it! It was a tremendous feeling, 85 lbs down since the morning of surgery! Just 6 short months all that weight gone forever! I'm not a total Nazi with what I eat but I am very much aware of everything that I put in my body, and getting in my activity. He told me he wished all his patients got it like I did.
So I've set a goal for myself to be able to run Tough Mudder this coming October. I've done TM before but I don't want to walk any part of it, that is my goal this go around. I started a half marathon training app and it felt amazing. While running I couldn't help but think how incredible it felt to be able to run like that. How I never would have ever been able to do that prior to this surgery. I've got the mindset and the determination to get this done!
It's only the beginning, can't stop won't stop!
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Early On.....
I just got done reading an article in May 2014 of Cosmo "Who Are you Calling a Bully?" A 12 yr old girl, Rebecca, got dressed for school but instead of taking the bus she went to an abandoned cement plant where she climbed one of the two 60 foot high silos and leapt off. Two of her classmates, one a former good friend Katelyn and the other girl Guadalupe, were arrested for aggravated-stalking charges but charges were later dropped for lack of evidence. Katelyn asserts she did not do what police state. The article tells about how Katelyn, two of her friends, and Katelyn's mother went to the abandoned plant discussing what happened, the three girls all came to the conclusion that poor Rebecca had slipped.
Guadalupe had begun to like a boy that Rebecca had previously dated. Being the queen bee Guadalupe began to turn girls against Rebecca. Katelyn did not want to deal with the drama telling Rebecca she thought it best if they were no longer friends. Peers began telling Katelyn to fight Rebecca so one day someone pusher her into Rebecca and the two former friends began an altercation.
Once Rebecca didn't return home from school her mother sought help from the police. In the wee hours of the morning officers found 12 yr old Rebecca's body. The investigation had begun with interviewing classmates only after finding some disturbing texts on her phone, and screensavers on her nook. "What percent is considered overweight at 13?" "How many Advil to die?" "How do I get the blade out of my razor?" These are not things that should even cross a 12 yr olds mind. It really is sad, and disturbing how cruel girls can be. Guadalupe denied ever bullying Rebecca, well classmates told quite a different story.
All this turmoil over a boy? It's not surprising in this day and age but this has got to stop! Bullying someone over a boy. Did calling her ugly, or fat make this boy like Guadalupe any more? Nope I'm sure it didn't. It really is sad how this kind of behavior carries over into our adult lives as well. We've all done it, standing out somewhere with our friends seeing another woman dressed scantily clad and calling her a slut, or some other rude remark. Does it makes us feel any better? I can't say it does. Are we on some level jealous of her for having the confidence to wear that out in public? Possibly, maybe not but making judgments on someone else does not make us any better than they are.
Ages 12-18 years old can be really difficult for kids now a days, and its sad as opposed to band together these kids tear each other down because of their own insecurity, and uncertainty about who they are. This transitions right into how the overweight are looked at like repulsive beings.
Staring at the morbidly obese person out to dinner with friends, or family with thoughts racing in our heads about how they must be lazy, and how could they be eating that?!?! You have no idea that it might have taken the person all day to muster up the courage to leave the house and actually go out in public. Maybe they don't know the right choices to make food wise, and are unable to afford to see a nutritionist.
Words hurt. I can recall in elementary school being overweight and the constant harassment. When your last name is Cowley it doesn't take too long for kids to think of a name to call you. Torment comes to mind, I hated going to school every single day. None of those kids knew that my weight gain had started as a side effect from a epilepsy medication I had to take to keep my seizure disorder in check. Would it have made them stop had they known? No I'm sure it wouldn't have I would've been ostracized for it I'm sure.
Put yourself in that persons shoes for a few seconds. Think about what it would be like to be that individual and walk into a gym. How overwhelming would that be if you had no knowledge of the gym? Feeling constantly judged by the stares, and faces on other gym goers. It would be enough to make you retreat back to your home, and soothe yourself with that old friend food.
So next time before you make a snap judgment about someone try to exercise a little empathy. Instead of making a face at someone at the gym, flash them a smile. They're trying to make the first step to getting their life back.
#RISEANDGRIND
Guadalupe had begun to like a boy that Rebecca had previously dated. Being the queen bee Guadalupe began to turn girls against Rebecca. Katelyn did not want to deal with the drama telling Rebecca she thought it best if they were no longer friends. Peers began telling Katelyn to fight Rebecca so one day someone pusher her into Rebecca and the two former friends began an altercation.
Once Rebecca didn't return home from school her mother sought help from the police. In the wee hours of the morning officers found 12 yr old Rebecca's body. The investigation had begun with interviewing classmates only after finding some disturbing texts on her phone, and screensavers on her nook. "What percent is considered overweight at 13?" "How many Advil to die?" "How do I get the blade out of my razor?" These are not things that should even cross a 12 yr olds mind. It really is sad, and disturbing how cruel girls can be. Guadalupe denied ever bullying Rebecca, well classmates told quite a different story.
All this turmoil over a boy? It's not surprising in this day and age but this has got to stop! Bullying someone over a boy. Did calling her ugly, or fat make this boy like Guadalupe any more? Nope I'm sure it didn't. It really is sad how this kind of behavior carries over into our adult lives as well. We've all done it, standing out somewhere with our friends seeing another woman dressed scantily clad and calling her a slut, or some other rude remark. Does it makes us feel any better? I can't say it does. Are we on some level jealous of her for having the confidence to wear that out in public? Possibly, maybe not but making judgments on someone else does not make us any better than they are.
Ages 12-18 years old can be really difficult for kids now a days, and its sad as opposed to band together these kids tear each other down because of their own insecurity, and uncertainty about who they are. This transitions right into how the overweight are looked at like repulsive beings.
Staring at the morbidly obese person out to dinner with friends, or family with thoughts racing in our heads about how they must be lazy, and how could they be eating that?!?! You have no idea that it might have taken the person all day to muster up the courage to leave the house and actually go out in public. Maybe they don't know the right choices to make food wise, and are unable to afford to see a nutritionist.
Words hurt. I can recall in elementary school being overweight and the constant harassment. When your last name is Cowley it doesn't take too long for kids to think of a name to call you. Torment comes to mind, I hated going to school every single day. None of those kids knew that my weight gain had started as a side effect from a epilepsy medication I had to take to keep my seizure disorder in check. Would it have made them stop had they known? No I'm sure it wouldn't have I would've been ostracized for it I'm sure.
Put yourself in that persons shoes for a few seconds. Think about what it would be like to be that individual and walk into a gym. How overwhelming would that be if you had no knowledge of the gym? Feeling constantly judged by the stares, and faces on other gym goers. It would be enough to make you retreat back to your home, and soothe yourself with that old friend food.
So next time before you make a snap judgment about someone try to exercise a little empathy. Instead of making a face at someone at the gym, flash them a smile. They're trying to make the first step to getting their life back.
#RISEANDGRIND
Monday, May 5, 2014
On track...
It's been a rough few days for me. I'm still having a great deal of difficulty wrapping my mind around the weight loss since surgery, I ended up taking it out on the most important person in my life the other day. Demons from past relationships have been rearing their ugly head as well, which makes me feel so helpless. I think sometimes that I have it so together, and I just fell apart Saturday night. I felt broken, and completely lost.
A lot of people think that once they have the surgery and poof! everything is fixed. Well its crap! It's not fixed, every single day you have to work towards making yourself better. My mind felt like it was racing and I was all over the place, I felt like I had absolutely no clue what the hell I was doing. I was feeling like I had lost myself. For so many years I have been the fat girl and just accepted that but, now I don't remember what its like to be the fat girl anymore. I'm 98% sure I made my final purchase in a plus size clothing store over the weekend, and am like well what am I going to do now? Where am I going to buy clothes? What is going on ????
Back to the demons from the past coming up. A small misunderstanding turned into a huge ordeal, and I just lost it. My entire relationship was almost over in the blink of an eye because I had no clue how to deal. I haven't been in a normal relationship in almost 10 years, and I almost threw away the amazing relationship I have because I wasn't sure what to do. It's felt like this crazy push and pull deal. I pull him in and when I get freaked out that I'm going to mess things up I push him away. I can't do it anymore it's not fair to either one of us but especially to him.
Now that's all vented I feel much better. This journey following surgery has definitely been a crazy ride. I had no complications post op so something was bound to create a bump in the road for me. I have to learn to let the past go even more, and just focus on building this bright future with this amazing man I've been so fortunate to finally find.
#RISEANDGRIND
A lot of people think that once they have the surgery and poof! everything is fixed. Well its crap! It's not fixed, every single day you have to work towards making yourself better. My mind felt like it was racing and I was all over the place, I felt like I had absolutely no clue what the hell I was doing. I was feeling like I had lost myself. For so many years I have been the fat girl and just accepted that but, now I don't remember what its like to be the fat girl anymore. I'm 98% sure I made my final purchase in a plus size clothing store over the weekend, and am like well what am I going to do now? Where am I going to buy clothes? What is going on ????
Back to the demons from the past coming up. A small misunderstanding turned into a huge ordeal, and I just lost it. My entire relationship was almost over in the blink of an eye because I had no clue how to deal. I haven't been in a normal relationship in almost 10 years, and I almost threw away the amazing relationship I have because I wasn't sure what to do. It's felt like this crazy push and pull deal. I pull him in and when I get freaked out that I'm going to mess things up I push him away. I can't do it anymore it's not fair to either one of us but especially to him.
Now that's all vented I feel much better. This journey following surgery has definitely been a crazy ride. I had no complications post op so something was bound to create a bump in the road for me. I have to learn to let the past go even more, and just focus on building this bright future with this amazing man I've been so fortunate to finally find.
#RISEANDGRIND
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Unbelievable.....but in a GOOD WAY!
Just got home a bit ago from watching my amazing friend and her boyfriend finish the NJ Marathon! Words can't quite express how proud of her I am. Even at mile 25 she's smiling and makin it look easy. While standing there with my poster for her "That's not sweat it's liquid AWESOME!" I'm thinking I totally want to do one. I definitely have to train for it that's just a given but, I really think I can do it. Tough Mudder is 10-12 miles with 25+ obstacles so it's nearly a 1/2 marathon. I've definitely got to pick it up with the running, maybe I should do a 1/2 marathon first to get a feel for just straight running.
It's always a brand new week. I'm down 79 lbs total since my surgery and just beaming with pride. On a 5 mile walk with my boyfriend yesterday I told him that I know its only 6 months ago but I can't remember what it's like to be that size anymore. I had walked the trail we were on years ago when I was still heavy and couldn't believe how much easier it was yesterday. I wasn't out of breath at points that I normally would have been. My legs didn't hurt at all, no back pain, no having to stop. So with is being a new week that means new goals to make!
My weekly goals are generally: 70,000 steps/wk, 30 miles/wk, 80g of protein a day, 120 oz of water a day, run at least 3x per week. I'm reading this really great book I probably should make a goal to read at least 3x per week. I also want to try and be asleep by 11:30 pm so I can get up at 7:00 am and be well rested ready to take on the day.
It's all about the journey not just the destination!
#RISEANDGRIND
It's always a brand new week. I'm down 79 lbs total since my surgery and just beaming with pride. On a 5 mile walk with my boyfriend yesterday I told him that I know its only 6 months ago but I can't remember what it's like to be that size anymore. I had walked the trail we were on years ago when I was still heavy and couldn't believe how much easier it was yesterday. I wasn't out of breath at points that I normally would have been. My legs didn't hurt at all, no back pain, no having to stop. So with is being a new week that means new goals to make!
My weekly goals are generally: 70,000 steps/wk, 30 miles/wk, 80g of protein a day, 120 oz of water a day, run at least 3x per week. I'm reading this really great book I probably should make a goal to read at least 3x per week. I also want to try and be asleep by 11:30 pm so I can get up at 7:00 am and be well rested ready to take on the day.
It's all about the journey not just the destination!
#RISEANDGRIND
Friday, April 25, 2014
The Beginning is Always a Good Place to Start...
Well I have struggled with my weight almost my entire life. I shouldn't say almost I have struggled with it for most of my life. It was always the main source of my unhappiness. Very vicious cycle that so many suffer from...... you're unhappy because you're overweight and you can't seem to lose the weight. I probably started working out in gyms at the ripe young age of 12. Nothing more embarrassing than being an overweight preteen in a gym with a skinny trainer. But I'm not going to sit here and recount every failed attempt of a diet, workout program, weight loss program, etc. Basically I had tried every possible avenue under the sun. You name it, I tried it.
Roughly two years ago I had finished up my Masters Degree in Leadership and Public Administration, and needed something else to further intrigue my young inquiring mind. At this point I had gotten really into lifting weights, I hadn't quite hit my peak of being obsessed with it just yet but that's coming soon! I was still wanting lose weight, and determined to do it on my own so I used my graduation money to purchase my personal training certification, all of 3 days after finishing my Masters program (I really am a glutton for punishment). I did my 6 months of studying and passed on my first try, which was completely shocking to me because I am a CRAP test taker. And I mean CRAP! I remember the moderator saying Congrats you passed! I asked if he was sure he looked at the paper and was like Yeah you passed. I was in disbelief!
I had started at a new badass gym at this point. It is where I truly fell in love with lifting. The atmosphere, the loud music, the weights, the people....it was just all perfect to me. I quickly found that I was much stronger than I could've ever dreamed. I still think about it now and am like where did this beast come from?!?!
So I finally looked into having Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. I know many reading this are thinking "Well F*CK this! What a cop out! Easy way out!" I have one thing to say to you "F*CK YOU" and I mean that in the nicest way possible :-) If you knew anything about me you'd know that I once took that same position on having surgery. That couldn't be further from the truth. There is no worse feeling in the world than waking up every morning and hating yourself. Feeling like a complete failure because you do everything the right way and you still can't lose the weight. Looking in the mirror and having no idea who that person is staring back at you. That is when you even look in the mirror. I can remember avoiding a mirror at all costs because I was disgusted by what had happened to me. By no means am I playing a victim card that's not my style, just giving some background on how I felt.
My new life started on Wednesday, October 9, 2013 @ 7:30 a.m. I can recall waking up from anesthesia and asking when the hell I could get out of that damn hospital bed. I walked as much as I could when I was there. I was discharged on Friday, October 11th and actually walked out of the hospital. I remember the nurse looking like WTF and my surgeon told her it was fine. I took a 2 hour walk with my mom that Saturday. Starting on Monday I walked 5 miles a day until I could get back in the gym 3 weeks later. Took it easy with the weights the first few weeks but it didn't take long to get back to where I was. I've lost 75+ lbs. at this point and don't plan on stopping anytime soon. Can't stop won't stop!
#RISEANDGRIND
Roughly two years ago I had finished up my Masters Degree in Leadership and Public Administration, and needed something else to further intrigue my young inquiring mind. At this point I had gotten really into lifting weights, I hadn't quite hit my peak of being obsessed with it just yet but that's coming soon! I was still wanting lose weight, and determined to do it on my own so I used my graduation money to purchase my personal training certification, all of 3 days after finishing my Masters program (I really am a glutton for punishment). I did my 6 months of studying and passed on my first try, which was completely shocking to me because I am a CRAP test taker. And I mean CRAP! I remember the moderator saying Congrats you passed! I asked if he was sure he looked at the paper and was like Yeah you passed. I was in disbelief!
I had started at a new badass gym at this point. It is where I truly fell in love with lifting. The atmosphere, the loud music, the weights, the people....it was just all perfect to me. I quickly found that I was much stronger than I could've ever dreamed. I still think about it now and am like where did this beast come from?!?!
So I finally looked into having Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. I know many reading this are thinking "Well F*CK this! What a cop out! Easy way out!" I have one thing to say to you "F*CK YOU" and I mean that in the nicest way possible :-) If you knew anything about me you'd know that I once took that same position on having surgery. That couldn't be further from the truth. There is no worse feeling in the world than waking up every morning and hating yourself. Feeling like a complete failure because you do everything the right way and you still can't lose the weight. Looking in the mirror and having no idea who that person is staring back at you. That is when you even look in the mirror. I can remember avoiding a mirror at all costs because I was disgusted by what had happened to me. By no means am I playing a victim card that's not my style, just giving some background on how I felt.
My new life started on Wednesday, October 9, 2013 @ 7:30 a.m. I can recall waking up from anesthesia and asking when the hell I could get out of that damn hospital bed. I walked as much as I could when I was there. I was discharged on Friday, October 11th and actually walked out of the hospital. I remember the nurse looking like WTF and my surgeon told her it was fine. I took a 2 hour walk with my mom that Saturday. Starting on Monday I walked 5 miles a day until I could get back in the gym 3 weeks later. Took it easy with the weights the first few weeks but it didn't take long to get back to where I was. I've lost 75+ lbs. at this point and don't plan on stopping anytime soon. Can't stop won't stop!
#RISEANDGRIND
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)